Reasons I Hate The Dork
by Mr.FuzzyTiger
Summary: Sam writes down all the things she simply "HATES" About Freddie. Leading up to the *real* reason she hates "The dork" Seddie.


I do not own iCarly! This is a one shot for now, But if any ideas are said I could make it into more shots. Maybe a "Freddie" One like this? I also need a proof reader if anyone is interested.

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Sam writes down all the things she simply "HATES" About Freddie. Leading up to the *real* reason she hates "The dork" Seddie.

….

This morning I swear to fatcakes, I saw you in a cosplay on the way to a convention and it was then I realized I just had to write down a list of ALL The reasons you make me hate you Freddork.

I hate the way you go around wearing that stupid little pocket protector. What? Oh no! If your pen leaks will the shirt your mommie bought you be ruined? Learn to live Benson.

I despise the way you go around knowing EVERYTHING there is to know about stupid little chizz no one cares about. No one cared a year ago what you thought about season 6 of Galactic Galaxies, And no one cares now Freddifer.

You know what I also hate? The way you get your panties in a twist when your Maths Club is canceled, or if you miss it. "Oh no! How will they cope without their long divider!? The world will never be the same!" I hear they are selling LIVES Half price at Walmart. Id go now before all the good lives are gone.

You received a text of a girl you thought was cute. That LAUGH. That dorkie, Nerdy, stupid laugh. Do you think it's cute Freddie? Because its not.

"Oh some girl I have never even met likes me, Ooo! She says she is a cheerleader heheheheh!"

It's the most annoying laugh I have ever heard in my life. Its all …Freddieish. It's a Freddieish laugh. See? They even had to invent a NEW NAME for YOUR laugh.

And what's the deal of you giving me not freaking attention when your playing your Galaxy Intergalactic Playstation game? It's like speaking to a wall most of the chizzing time.

…

Not that I care about getting any of your dorkie attention Freddie, Don't flatter yourself.

There's another thing I hate. You playing up until late at night playing that stupid game too. Do you have no life? I really don't believe you do at this point.

Not that I care about the fact that you come to Carly's less or anything. Just think you need a life.

When we went to the store last week and you tried those stupid black glasses on. No Benson. They did not make you look cute, hot, or attractive in the slightest.

I HATE Them when you wear them. I can't even look into your darm eyes anymore with them on.

You know…Because your glasses are so …pathetic I just can't stand looking at them.

No Benson your eyes are not "Pretty" or So adorable I just want to melt into them. So don't go getting any idea's because you're wrong.

I hate the fact that I got fired from a perfectly good job at the Pear Store because she fired me after you left. I had something good going their Benson. Idiot.

And No don't try and set things right by ringing the shop up because she will only deny firing me and tell you I quit.

Which obviously I didn't do.

You know one I the things I simply cannot STAND?

Your smile.

It just screams "Look at me! I'm so cute you just want to kiss me!" WELL. I do NOT want to kiss your Klingon talking, techy lips.

No matter how warm they are, or how soft and gentle you may be. Or how your shoulder always smells like fresh cologne.

And don't get any wrong ideas dork. I HATE your cologne. It smells like puke to me.

I hate the fact you can make me smile just by smiling yourself. What? You on a mission to make the whole world happy and smiley because that isn't gonna happen dork. Sorry to ruin your dreams.

I hate the fact I'm happy just being with you. Are you trying to make it so that I can't feel that happy with others? Because I am.

Do you think I cared when I saw a single tear drop down your face this morning when you found out that cheerleader was just playing you? Because I didn't

That's my name. "Samantha", "Doesn't give a darn about you" "Puckett."

You think I saw that light in your eyes that slowly dimmed as you found out? You think I saw how much you were dying inside?

Haha! Because I didn't! I didn't notice any of that Benson. Get use to that.

_**Sam read over the work she had just written and remained silence before writing the rest of her list. **_

I hate your hair. That floppy auburn hair.

And I REALLY hate those brown eyes. Nothing special about those chocolate, eyes that can make anyone melt Benson. Nothing at all so shut it.

Did I mention I hate the way you stay perfectly calm a lot of the time when I'm teasing you. I tease and am mean to you for a reason Freddie. You're not allowed to just ignore it and wait for me to stop.

**Sam once again puts the pen down, reading over her work. She picks the pen up and begins to write the rest extremely fast. I guess like ripping of a band aid… Quick so it doesn't hurt.**

I hate the butterflies you give me in my stomach. I hate the way they NEVER leave. I want them to just leave me the damn alone.

I hate the way you make me smile when I don't feel like it. I hate the way when you just touch my shoulders my insides shudder.

I hate the way you're the only one who can make me blush, changing that disgusting pink color I hate so much.

I hate the way you _**Change**_ me. I'm Sam Freakin' Puckett. I fight, I'm messy, I play sports with school boys and get muddy.

I don't spend ages in my bathroom trying to get my curls the exact way they were the night you kissed me in the hospital.

I don't ask myself which shirt or dress you would like more.

My voice doesn't change a little when I speak about you, getting a little higher and bubbly. It just doesn't.

I hate all that mushy romance stuff. Marriage, Children, Weddings. UGH. YUCK.

I hate the fact that if you asked me to move away with you and settle down I would.

I hate the way I would leave my life of crime behind to raise our children the right way. I hate the way I already have names for them.

_**Splashes of water seam to stain the pages. Sam refuses to accept where they are falling from.**_

I hate the way on the night I asked if we should break up, a few hours before, I met your mother in the hallway.

I hate your mother. I hate the way she said she was sorry, but she just didn't think I was the right girl for her son.

I hate the way she said "If he stays with you. He will waste his future. You'll just hold him back in life and never let him shine" I hate the way she said you would not get anywhere with me by your side.

_I hate the way she was right._

_I HATE that, that's the reason I broke up with you. But you broke up with me for something much less. _

I hate the way you're the only boy I have ever let close to me since my father left me when I was ten.

I hate everything about you Benson.

Everything and more.

_**Samantha looked at the note, realizing there was no way she could send this to Freddie. She left it on the notepad and put it on the table. Falling asleep on Carly's couch. **_

….

Thank you for reading guys! Please review if you have the time. It really changes my mood when I'm a little depressed.


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